"Just Married"...NOT!

There I am dressed in high fashion riding gear of a derby hat, crisp white shirt, butter yellow vest, floor length brown suede skirt and riding boots. My companion, Jim, is dressed sharply in his top hat and black tuxedo-like suit with long coat tails. I am taking a turn driving the horse and six seat carriage on the highway. I don’t even have my driver’s license yet, so I’m a bit nervous. I am sure Pearl, the Belgium work horse, can sense it as I try to firmly hold the reins amid the honking, passing cars. As they go by, we hear things like “Congratulations!” “Woo Hoo!” and “Way to go!” being proclaimed. Puzzled, Jim and I look at each other. Then we remember. The “Just Married” sign is still hanging on the back. After a wide-eyed realization, we start to laugh at the absurdity the well-wishers are unaware of. I’m 15 years old. Jim’s considerably older than I, married, with three kids, whom I often babysit. Today, I’m filling in for his wife on a chartered horse drawn carriage ride for a wedding. We’d just finished driving the bride and groom to their wedding and reception. However, after waiting for two hours, the happy couple opted to stay at their reception longer and take a car home instead of the carriage. So we were anxious to get on the road and head home. And we forgot all about the sign.

Fast forward about six years. I am stressing over wedding plans and the strain is evident in my relationship. I pray for God to show me a sign IF I am NOT to marry him. He does. Disturbing things are brought to light about the ‘man of my dreams’. But everyone has flaws. It’s OK. I pray for another sign. And God delivers again, though not the answer I desire. I rationalize moving forward with all plans because we have been together over five years. He’s my high school, and beyond, sweetheart. I’ve planned my life out. We’re going to get married, I’ll get my teaching degree, we’ll have kids (specifically twins, preferably girls, names picked out), etc. I ignore the signs, but He adeptly works around my hesitation to obey. It’s the day of tuxedo and maid of honor dress fittings. I’m awaiting the call that my fiancé is on his way to pick me up. The call comes but it’s different. “We need to talk”, he says. In that moment I know. God has slammed on the brakes, since I didn’t. He has said NO! Wedding plans abruptly stop. Dreams are devastated. My heart is broken and my best friend is gone. Perhaps it would not have been so hard if I had just heeded the signs.

I take my broken heart, shattered dreams, and unraveled life plans to the One whom I know holds my future. That time was a harsh reminder that in fact it IS Jesus, not I, who needs to ordain my “plans”. God is a sign giver, a plan maker, and a promise keeper. His Word reflects a multitude of these aspects. How many times did Israel not heed the signs? They chose to wander in the wilderness rather than obey. How often have we done that as well? We choose ‘our way’ over His. And it sends us out into the wilderness, off His chosen path, into the briars and thorns of life that rip us up and turn us around, leaving us wounded and confused. Beloved, that is NOT God’s desire for His children. Jesus says in John 10:10 that He came so that we may have abundant life. If you have not yet chosen Christ, I pray you will. If you have strayed, you can return. Thankfully our God is a God of second, third, one hundred and more chances! We can never go from His reach (Ps. 139:7-8), however He will only come where invited (Rev. 3:20). 

I am so humbled and grateful for the many ‘chances’ I have had over the 18+ years that I’ve been on this journey of singleness, navigating signs, and seeking His way versus mine. I am not always successful in my obedience. Thankfully, His Word never stops showing me new signs. We all see signs everyday but what do we do with them? What signs is He showing you today? I encourage you to read, listen and obey those signs from God’s Word, that it may go well with you (Deut. 4:40), challenge you and grow you. From Second Peter 3:18, I pray that you will “…grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both for now and forever. Amen.”

This post was featured as a guest post on "Our Single Purpose", Sunday, January 13, 2013. 

http://oursinglepurpose.com/2013/01/13/just-married-not/  I look forward to writing for "Our Single Purpose" again in the near future. 

LOVE in Romans 12

In reading Romans 12 recently I was impressed by some powerful verses within this chapter. Go pull out your copy of God's Word (or open it online) and read it, then read this:

Recently I was praying for a friend with martial struggles. Being single, I can only imagine how tough marriage is...I've been in relationships, and even in non-romantic relationships, loving one another can be challenging. Choosing to love, choosing to submit, IS tough! However, we are called to submit to one another in love: Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble." (1 Peter 5:1b)

As I prayed and read Romans 12, I was reminded that in seeking to submit to God, a husband, boss, etc. We must first start with God's reality check of our sinful, selfish nature: For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.  ( v.3)...OUCH! A painful reminder that too often I DO think of myself more highly than I should.

Reading on, Paul shares in vs. 9-10 how sincerity in loving ("without hypocrisy") enables us, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to give one another preference over ourselves. Agape love, that which is perfect and self-sacrificing (as Jesus loved), allows us to be of the same mind [see v.16 with cross reference to v.2]. It also commands that we keep our self in the role of a servant with all humility. This can NOT be done effectively in our own strength! If you've tried to do so in the past, as I have, you failed. Sadly, our nature is not one of agape love (truly Christ-like). Yet we are blessed because as believers, we have the Holy Spirit indwelling us to empower us to be able to love as Christ did, perhaps not perfectly as we are still imperfect, but beyond what we could ever do in our own strength.

I then found a final challenge in v. 18,  If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.  I don't know about you, but if you are a sinner like me (as we all are accordingly to Rom. 3:23), then this can be challenging. With whom do you find "living peaceably" to be a challenge for you? Pray for them, pray for a super natural understanding, and if they are unsaved, PRAY FOR THEIR SALVATION. Daily pray for faithfulness in obedience to show Christ to them.

I am thankful for the concession that God fully understands our weaknesses and that we struggle in our sin. He knows we find it hard to practice humility and self-sacrifice. He knows that other people in our circle may not be believers, or if they are believers, perhaps they are young in their faith. He knows those around us also struggle as we do to LOVE as Christ would have us love, whether by ignorance or choice. Take heart, friends, in knowing you and I are only responsible for our individual actions. Be mindful of those actions. I pray that we will remember to extend grace, love without hypocrisy and shine brightly for Christ this year ahead. To God be the Glory!