There
I am dressed in high fashion riding gear of a derby hat, crisp white shirt,
butter yellow vest, floor length brown suede skirt and riding boots. My
companion, Jim, is dressed sharply in his top hat and black tuxedo-like suit
with long coat tails. I am taking a turn driving the horse and six seat
carriage on the highway. I don’t even have my driver’s license yet, so I’m a
bit nervous. I am sure Pearl , the Belgium work
horse, can sense it as I try to firmly hold the reins amid the honking, passing
cars. As they go by, we hear things like “Congratulations!” “Woo Hoo!” and “Way
to go!” being proclaimed. Puzzled, Jim and I look at each other. Then we
remember. The “Just Married” sign is still hanging on the back. After a
wide-eyed realization, we start to laugh at the absurdity the well-wishers are
unaware of. I’m 15 years old. Jim’s considerably older than I, married, with
three kids, whom I often babysit. Today, I’m filling in for his wife on a
chartered horse drawn carriage ride for a wedding. We’d just finished driving
the bride and groom to their wedding and reception. However, after waiting for
two hours, the happy couple opted to stay at their reception longer and take a
car home instead of the carriage. So we were anxious to get on the road and
head home. And we forgot all about the sign.
Fast
forward about six years. I am stressing over wedding plans and the strain is
evident in my relationship. I pray for God to show me a sign IF I am NOT to
marry him. He does. Disturbing things are brought to light about the ‘man of my
dreams’. But everyone has flaws. It’s OK. I pray for another sign. And God
delivers again, though not the answer I desire. I rationalize moving forward
with all plans because we have been together over five years. He’s my high
school, and beyond, sweetheart. I’ve planned my life out. We’re going to get
married, I’ll get my teaching degree, we’ll have kids (specifically twins,
preferably girls, names picked out), etc. I ignore the signs, but He adeptly
works around my hesitation to obey. It’s the day of tuxedo and maid of honor
dress fittings. I’m awaiting the call that my fiancĂ© is on his way to pick me
up. The call comes but it’s different. “We need to talk”, he says. In that
moment I know. God has slammed on the brakes, since I didn’t. He has said NO! Wedding
plans abruptly stop. Dreams are devastated. My heart is broken and my best
friend is gone. Perhaps it would not have been so hard if I had just heeded the
signs.
I
take my broken heart, shattered dreams, and unraveled life plans to the One
whom I know holds my future. That time was a harsh reminder that in fact it IS
Jesus, not I, who needs to ordain my “plans”. God is a sign giver, a plan
maker, and a promise keeper. His Word reflects a multitude of these aspects.
How many times did Israel
not heed the signs? They chose to wander in the wilderness rather than obey.
How often have we done that as well? We choose ‘our way’ over His. And it sends
us out into the wilderness, off His chosen path, into the briars and thorns of
life that rip us up and turn us around, leaving us wounded and confused.
Beloved, that is NOT God’s desire for His children. Jesus says in John 10:10
that He came so that we may have abundant life. If you have not yet chosen
Christ, I pray you will. If you have strayed, you can return. Thankfully our
God is a God of second, third, one hundred and more chances! We can never go
from His reach (Ps. 139:7-8), however He will only come where invited (Rev.
3:20).
I
am so humbled and grateful for the many ‘chances’ I have had over the 18+ years
that I’ve been on this journey of singleness, navigating signs, and seeking His
way versus mine. I am not always successful in my obedience. Thankfully, His
Word never stops showing me new signs. We all see signs everyday but what do we
do with them? What signs is He showing you today? I encourage you to read,
listen and obey those signs from God’s Word, that it may go well with you
(Deut. 4:40), challenge you and grow you. From Second Peter 3:18, I pray that you
will “…grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To
Him be the glory both for now and forever. Amen.”
This post was featured as a guest post on "Our Single Purpose", Sunday, January 13, 2013.
http://oursinglepurpose.com/2013/01/13/just-married-not/ I look forward to writing for "Our Single Purpose" again in the near future.
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