"Just Married"...NOT!

There I am dressed in high fashion riding gear of a derby hat, crisp white shirt, butter yellow vest, floor length brown suede skirt and riding boots. My companion, Jim, is dressed sharply in his top hat and black tuxedo-like suit with long coat tails. I am taking a turn driving the horse and six seat carriage on the highway. I don’t even have my driver’s license yet, so I’m a bit nervous. I am sure Pearl, the Belgium work horse, can sense it as I try to firmly hold the reins amid the honking, passing cars. As they go by, we hear things like “Congratulations!” “Woo Hoo!” and “Way to go!” being proclaimed. Puzzled, Jim and I look at each other. Then we remember. The “Just Married” sign is still hanging on the back. After a wide-eyed realization, we start to laugh at the absurdity the well-wishers are unaware of. I’m 15 years old. Jim’s considerably older than I, married, with three kids, whom I often babysit. Today, I’m filling in for his wife on a chartered horse drawn carriage ride for a wedding. We’d just finished driving the bride and groom to their wedding and reception. However, after waiting for two hours, the happy couple opted to stay at their reception longer and take a car home instead of the carriage. So we were anxious to get on the road and head home. And we forgot all about the sign.

Fast forward about six years. I am stressing over wedding plans and the strain is evident in my relationship. I pray for God to show me a sign IF I am NOT to marry him. He does. Disturbing things are brought to light about the ‘man of my dreams’. But everyone has flaws. It’s OK. I pray for another sign. And God delivers again, though not the answer I desire. I rationalize moving forward with all plans because we have been together over five years. He’s my high school, and beyond, sweetheart. I’ve planned my life out. We’re going to get married, I’ll get my teaching degree, we’ll have kids (specifically twins, preferably girls, names picked out), etc. I ignore the signs, but He adeptly works around my hesitation to obey. It’s the day of tuxedo and maid of honor dress fittings. I’m awaiting the call that my fiancé is on his way to pick me up. The call comes but it’s different. “We need to talk”, he says. In that moment I know. God has slammed on the brakes, since I didn’t. He has said NO! Wedding plans abruptly stop. Dreams are devastated. My heart is broken and my best friend is gone. Perhaps it would not have been so hard if I had just heeded the signs.

I take my broken heart, shattered dreams, and unraveled life plans to the One whom I know holds my future. That time was a harsh reminder that in fact it IS Jesus, not I, who needs to ordain my “plans”. God is a sign giver, a plan maker, and a promise keeper. His Word reflects a multitude of these aspects. How many times did Israel not heed the signs? They chose to wander in the wilderness rather than obey. How often have we done that as well? We choose ‘our way’ over His. And it sends us out into the wilderness, off His chosen path, into the briars and thorns of life that rip us up and turn us around, leaving us wounded and confused. Beloved, that is NOT God’s desire for His children. Jesus says in John 10:10 that He came so that we may have abundant life. If you have not yet chosen Christ, I pray you will. If you have strayed, you can return. Thankfully our God is a God of second, third, one hundred and more chances! We can never go from His reach (Ps. 139:7-8), however He will only come where invited (Rev. 3:20). 

I am so humbled and grateful for the many ‘chances’ I have had over the 18+ years that I’ve been on this journey of singleness, navigating signs, and seeking His way versus mine. I am not always successful in my obedience. Thankfully, His Word never stops showing me new signs. We all see signs everyday but what do we do with them? What signs is He showing you today? I encourage you to read, listen and obey those signs from God’s Word, that it may go well with you (Deut. 4:40), challenge you and grow you. From Second Peter 3:18, I pray that you will “…grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both for now and forever. Amen.”

This post was featured as a guest post on "Our Single Purpose", Sunday, January 13, 2013. 

http://oursinglepurpose.com/2013/01/13/just-married-not/  I look forward to writing for "Our Single Purpose" again in the near future.